Monday, November 2, 2009

Franken Feet & Gumby Hands

Just a little rant about boots and gloves. Really people, who in the hell's hands actually fit in gloves anyway?! Seriously, I think the model for the manufacturer's blanks must be a mutant with abnormally long fingers, or maybe they have blind seamstresses or something. I am so friggin' tired of not being able to do simple stuff, like work a zipper, because the tips of the glove fingers are, like, a half-inch too long. What the hell is that all about? Don't even try to do anything detailed, like tighten 3/8" nuts or anything. Heck, I can barely even get my finger into the chainsaw trigger guard with those stupid Gumby hands. Can't even manage to pull the other glove on sometimes or tuck in my cuffs. Why do we have to chose between warm, protected hands and actually being able to use them?!

Same goes for boots. Why on earth can't they make insulated boots with steel toes and shin guards that aren't bulbous and clunky? There's room for 14 pairs of socks at the toes, but anything more than a thin nylon liner and you can't get your foot through the ankle?! Not to mention that they force you walk like Frankenstein or an absolute spastic 'tard. Geez, these are winter work and hiking boots, you'd think that someone would have figured out that the people wearing them might actually be walking over uneven ground in the snow and might need some dexterity to handle hidden ditches and stumps.

And don't get me started on how you can't really find any good, solid work gloves for women. Sure, you can find all sorts of dainty, flimsy gardening gloves that almost fit a woman's hands; but real heavy duty gloves… forget it! Yeah, and a men's small is NOT a lady's medium, no matter what Captain Incompetent says at Home Labyrinth! What? I know there have to be some women out there somewhere who actually need proper work gloves… do they all have to have them custom-made, have them altered, or just suffer with ill-fit?

Arg!! Maybe it's me that's the mutant! I mean, I know that I'm a klutz with horrible balance, and I'm all bendy-freaky-double-jointed. Yep, and I'm doing MEN'S work out here in the bush… good little women won't be lumberjacking and doing construction, they'll be in the kitchen with oven mitts or tending their flowers where cutesy garden gloves are sufficient (ok, that's sarcasm folks).

Ahhh… rant over, I feel better now.

[G-Man says "No, you're not a mutant, I have the same problem. I can wear a medium, but can't wear any liners to keep in the heat. I can wear a large, and I have 1/2" too long fingers in the gloves. Even when a glove "fits" it doesn't really fit in all the right places, fingers are too long, short, tight or loose, same goes for the palm. And what's with the wrist cuffs? They're either super-short so they just get to your wrist, or like some old motorcycle gauntlet that comes half way up your arm."]


Jeremy and Jenny said...

The best fitting gloves that i have ever found are by carhartt. They are mechanic style hybrids (leather palm, stretchy back). I use them for working on my truck in the winter(they fit well enough to thread in a small screw or nut.) They also work really good as liners for a not so great fitting pair. That way when i need some dexterity i can take off the outers and not totally expose my flesh to the freezing cold. They also make this same glove in the carhartt for women line, and they are actually made in women's sizes. Not to mention the made in the usa factor.

Plickety Cat said...

Thanks Jeremy & Jenny --- I'll check out the Carhartt gloves, because I'm seriously getting peeved with not being able to do anything!